It’s been six months. You’re still gone.
Apart has become normal
even to us. Absence is absence, but we get on.
We’re fine, we’re Good.
We speak rarely, but feel every day.
Maybe that’s why the silence.
Words are too articulate—
they make things real.
I’ve been drawing, writing, living.
Past is past.
I’m good at being adrift, anyway.
After awhile I like it.
I learn new words, songs. languages.
I like learning new things. I get lost.
I like getting lost.
But then I remember before.
We were both lost, but it was different
New songs are more fun to hear together,
like learning new words
to use against each other—
swords, foils— fencing.
Still. I like the espionage.
What’s one to do?
Reality is brittle and unyielding.
It’s my only grudge, and I’m Scorpio.
It’s the Why behind my answer: artist.
(I’ll make other-real things,
things of yielding shifting heartbeat beauty)
Anyway. Adventures await,
Now, and next visit.
We’ll spend so much time
that we drive each another mental
Then apologize, half-heartedly
wishing for alone time.
’til you get on the plane.
Then we’ll start planning
your next visit
or your Phoenix return.
I see now, though, she’s less compelling than the first of this series, for not looking into the camera. She’s making no direct appeal to us, but someone out of frame, which weakens the effect. But learning is part of every endeavor, so onward and smarter next time.
I guess I ought to do some process pics while layering in the black and grey next time. These don’t really show much process at all, only intervals.
Here’s a piece that I initially intended to (1) sketch quickly in pencil in the Moleskine, and (2) finish -simply- with red watercolor and my new Micron™ pens– high contrast, no shading.
Instead, it turned into a rather detailed pencil rendering, finished with several layers/workings of watercolor, and only a few lines with a pen (ears, jawline, eyes).
I kinda love the velvety effect of the finished piece. It was really nice to get lost in drawing/painting for a few hours.
It transports me back to the viscera of the Exsanguinations,one and two. Those were completely imaginary, and without lighting reference. More of this exploration is in order.
Watercolor has proven superior to the casein for its transparency, red-wise. (White casein would be a nice highlight moment, though.)
After the initial pencil drawing was fleshed out, I sprayed a workable fixative over the soft pencil (woodless HB), and scanned it before painting in case of ruination.
I scanned it again after getting to where I thought may be finished, but then decided to deepen the blacks. I wasn’t happy with leaving them washed out, as in the above.
I used half pan watercolors. The blacks consisted of a mix of dark grey and black, so I didn’t need a lot of water in the early phases of layering in the dark. I’ve not really worked with watercolor in this way before. The workable fixative was great to retain the integrity of the pencil shading prior to painting.
Full disclosure: I removed the gutter seam in Photoshop in the final for aesthetic’s sake.